i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
