But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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