I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
