I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
