still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
