plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
