I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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