Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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