oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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