Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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