i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
