Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
