Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
