my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
