So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Green mimosas i think yes
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
