So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
