His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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