covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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