For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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