I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
