butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
