no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
