the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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