I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
