we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
