My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
A bitchslap is in order.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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