Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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