Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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