also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
