You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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