I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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