I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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