Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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