Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Randomize
