we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
