Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
