His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
