I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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