didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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