I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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