It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
MIDGETS
????
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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