Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
