so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
