she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
