Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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