she kept yelling 'call me bella'
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
