Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
