Umm I'm too high to move.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
