The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
