god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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